mermaids

Different

Posted on: 24 April, 07

Expecting Adam by Martha Beck

Martha Beck were pursuing PhD’s at Harvard when she became pregnant.  A second child was not in “the plan.”  At the time, being a parent and a student was frowned upon at Harvard.  The pregnancy was difficult, but the real difficulty came when the Becks found out the unborn child had Down’s Syndrome.  This was at a time when Down’s was even less understood than it is today.  Beck spends a great deal of time bashing Harvard.  She shares occasions when she felt her unborn child was guiding her towards certain choices and decisions.   She also felt there were “other forces” protecting her through the difficult pregnancy.  Some of this was a bit tedious and repetitious to read.  I am not sure if she was trying to convince the reader or herself that these events really occurred.

There was a paragraph about her son’s differences that really struck a chord with me:

“Adam doesn’t just do less than a ‘normal’ child his age might; he does different things.  He has different priorities, different tastes,different insights.  Adding him to our family was like going to the pet store to buy a puppy, wanting exactly the kind of puppy all your friends are getting, and winding up with a kitten instead.  You can spend a lot of time trying to get the kitten to fetch and bark and wag its tail, but you may also find that there is much to enjoy, to emulate, to love, about the way kittens naturally behave.”

Sometimes we don’t get what we thought we wanted.  Happiness comes when learn to appreciate what we have.

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