Did You Miss Me?
Posted 23 June, 09on:
Did you notice I was gone? I tried to set up some things to post automatically while I was away. From what I could tell, it was a little wonky. Yesterday was the first day I missed a post in about a year and a half. January 1, 2008 began my participation in Blog365. It wasn’t long before daily blogging was a habit.
We were scheduled to leave on Saturday for a week in Mexico. (Thus, the reason for having a few blog posts “banked.”) When the phone rings at 2 a.m., it is either a drunk wrong number or bad news. Thursday, we got a non-alcoholic phone call at 2 a.m. Hubski’s father had passed away. He had been ill, so it wasn’t a huge surprise. It just happened faster than we thought.
Hubski left as soon as possible. The boys and I followed on Friday afternoon. We made a mad dash through the mall in search of appropriate clothes and shoes for the boys. As I began to pack Thursday night, it became clear that my wardrobe is anything but somber. Ottobre and stash to the rescue. I was up before daylight to start sewing. For the record, my eyes are too old to sew on black before the sun comes up. The zipper was a mess, but the jacket covered it. I knew I could fix it when I had more time. I made a black skirt to go with this jacket.
There were a few amusing moments over the weekend. On Friday morning, the officiate called to speak to my mother in law about details for the service. Everyone was out, except for Hubski. When the officiate found out Hubski was the son, he began to wax poetically about my father in law. Later, my mother in law revealed that the officiate did not even know my father in law. Apparently, he has a canned speech to use at times like these. We all got a kick out of it. Of course, this set off my radar for the actual funeral service. Could this guy fake it well enough to pull off the funeral without exposing his lack of familiarity?
The crowd gathers. We are marched in and placed in the front rows. The room is positively silent. The officiate takes the podium and leans into the microphone. With what can only be described as “the MoviePhone” voice, he booms, “Death is all around us.” Really? This is what he chose to lead with? There was no “thank you for joining us today to the honor the memory of…” If it all possible, the speech went downhill from there. I know a funeral is not a party, but does it have to be so depressing?
After the officiate scared the bejeebers out of us with the talk of death lurking in every dark corner, he attempted to talk about my father in law’s life. “He was a vital part of the congregation. His presence will be greatly missed.” Um, not so much. My father in law had to be dragged to services twice a year for the big holidays. The officiate proceeded to mix up the names of the children, their spouses, and their children. He even left out Hubski’s sister. We all looked at each other questioningly.
The eulogy was prepared by Hubski’s sisters. I learned that scientists are not good writers. They asked Hubski to look it over and make changes. I pulled out my big red teacher pen, but soon decided that it wasn’t enough time to make *all* of the necessary changes. My “favorite” eulogies do not focus on the person’s achievements, but, instead, share little anecdotes about the quirks that made the person memorable, allowing a few chuckles amongst the tears. If I had been asked to write the eulogy, I would have included things like the man loved food. He started planning where to go for dinner while he was eating breakfast. He loved to play games and took the rules seriously. He was known to consult the rules when playing Candyland with a four year old. He was the quintessential absent minded professor. With a PhD in chemistry, he would still ask me “Where do you keep the ice?” He loved a joke. He would have wanted people to laugh, even it was at his expense.
The boys and I returned today, leaving Hubski a bit longer. We are exhausted. I left the suitcase in the laundry room, taking out only our toothbrushes and toiletries. Tomorrow, the dirty clothes can go directly into the washing machine. Then there is also the little matter of rescheduling our Mexico trip.
This is what you do. You regroup and move forward. What other option is there?