mermaids

Just a Girl

Posted on: 7 October, 12

I have spent too many days feeling inadequate.  My house is a wreck because even simple household chores cause my joints to shriek.  I go to physical therapy and my body refuses to cooperate.  When I get home, I climb into bed and attempt to escape the pain by losing myself in the internet. 

Blogs and websites are filled with perfectly decorated homes, gourmet meals, gorgeous crafts.  There are women who can not only do all this stuff, but they also photograph it beautifully and then write fabulous blog posts about it.  Sometimes they take a break from their frequent blogging to go on amazing vacations with their perfect little families who can't get enough of each other.  Of course, it is all captured on film so they can blog about it.  Yeah, I pretty much hate them all. 

On the flip side are the dysfunctional bloggers.  Constant chaos is the theme of their blogs.  I like those blogs because I can say to myself, "at least I'm not as screwed up as she is."  But they still make me feel inadequate.  I am not screwed up enough to be entertaining. 

I am overwhelmingly average.  Not good enough to be amazing.  Not dysfunctional enough to be interesting.  Just an ordinary girl.  In my head, I know I should stop comparing myself to others.  But let's be real; we all do it. 

I will never have a house that looks a spread in a magazine.  I will never cook gourmet meals from locally grown organic produce.  My blog will never have gorgeous photographs.  I am just an ordinary girl living an ordinary life. 

The internet keeps trying to tell me there is no room for ordinary, but I have decided to stop listening. I am here to provide balance, a reality check for all the other ordinary girls out there.  I am just a girl, trying to get through the day.  I am not going to let the internet and those fancy blogs intimidate me anymore.  I am not going to apologize for being ordinary.  Statistically, a whole bunch of us have to be in the middle of the bell curve. 

So I am going to stop beating myself up for not living a picture perfect life… and photographing it beautifully.  On the days I feel good, I will enjoy the process of making things and not worry about a picture perfect end product.  I will take crappy photos with phone because uploading them from the real camera is just too much effort some days.  My fear of being "less than" will no longer stand in my way. 

I admit that I've been holding back.  I have not posted in ages because I didn't know when I would be able to post again.  I have not posted for fear the post would be too short or not good enough or wouldn't have gorgeous photos. 

My blog will never be fancy.  It will never have thousands of followers.  I won't get a book deal.  I am not a big league blogger.  I am just an ordinary girl… and there's nothing wrong with that.  Right?

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2 Responses to "Just a Girl"

Just another ordinary girl here – definitely in the middle of the pack (at least hopefully I make the middle LOL)
I’m learning that a lot of the blogs I like are the ones that DON’T intimidate me with perfect. I like a peek into regular lives with kids, pets, sewing, cooking and am trying to tell myself that it’s ok for me to do the same. There’s no need to ‘measure up’. I don’t feel any need to keep up with the Jones’ in real life, there’s no need online either. We are what we are…

I just spent the weekend at ‘sewing camp’ with Saralyn and thought about you a lot and wondered how you were doing.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being ordinary. There are many, many things you do that are extra-ordinary. You are still married and love your husband. Not everyone does that. You have raised remarkable sons. Not everyone does that. You make clothes and dress yourself well. Not everyone does that. You have maintained a sense of humor in the face of everything you are dealing with. Not everyone does that. And you have not just curled up and said I can’t do this anymore. Not everyone does that. I think you are above ordinary my friend. Take care of you!

g

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